This week has gone by slowly. I didn't even realize the effect of 'work stress' till Friday afternoon....All my patience has been spent on the kids I work with, and by day's end...my quota is empty and I'd just become so easily irritated by every little thing, and by my family members. I come home from work, and there's things for me to do (i.e. chores, errands, preparing for next day's class etc.) Which I don't mind doing, but I felt isolated from them, feeling neglected from my parents and sisters. I should've handled it earlier, cause it just kept building up throughout the week. I also missed personal down time with God...which was a mistake.

As I dropped Grace off to her riding lesson thurs. night, I drowned myself in some music on the radio, and went shopping. But it didn't lift my mood. I drove around aimlessly for a bit, didn't know where I wanted to go. I finally had to stop, and just be alone to cry out my frustrations. (I don't think I'm a crybaby, but a good cry is needed every once in a while during stressful times)  What's worse is that I didn't share these feelings with my family, and they had no idea of it till Friday. I was picked up after work on Friday 1.5 hrs late, and boy I was upset! My mom tried to calm me down, as I whined about being late for worship team practice and fellowship. Punctuality is soo important to me....you show your respect and diligence by being on time, and in my mind...I'd never want to be late for someone I cared about. Ironically, my dad and older sis is extremely laid-back (never worrying about time)...it's hard not to be bothered by that sometimes. I think God was trying to teach me something....as I arrived at practice .5hr late, I was one of the first ones there. So all that commotion, and anger for nothing! After that, I had to get over myself, accept these 'little problems' in life, and not stay angry at them.

That night, I got to tell them what I was feeling, and so everything is fine now. I really need to speak out (even to my family), if I want to be understood. Hehhe.

After Friday, it's been quite an enjoyable weekend.....got to relax at home on Sat., really talk to my sister, had dinner with hich-school friends (paid $19 for a salmon salad at Milestone's....ahhh!)

Had a CC small group reunion today...and it was great to have them visit my church, and spend time together, eating 2 lunches and whatnot! :P I don't think I'll be eating dinner tonight. Thanks for the laughs and fellowship guys!

Now I feel re-energized and ready to face another work week....on a totally different note, Lance Armstrong won his 6th at Tour de France! That's crazy, an unbeatable record....he's got quite an inspirational story....almost dying of cancer in 1996, then beating terminal cancer and coming back as one of the world's best athletes, winning consecutively since 1999! He's my hero.....heehehee.....take care y'all!

It's hotttttt...smog alert in T.O......it's sweltering out there, quite dangerous to venture outdoors for more than 10 minutes. It's weather like this I'm happy to be at work indoors. hehhe.

I had to lecture my class today....it's time to lay down the law. I've been too easy-going with them, and now they're just taking advantage of that. New rules are: you're not allowed to not participate, not allowed to make negative comments, not allowed to swear (tho we agreed that 'crap' and 'stupid' are not swear words...hahah, because I accidently said crap during class), and not allowed to put down other ppl's interests (like the cartoon Inu Yasha...which all the girls are obsessed about). Those boys really love distracting me by asking unrelated questions like, "do you have a boyfriend?" One 12-year old asked me if I wanted to marry him....hahhaha.....I laughed in my mind for a while, but I held my composure and stated that I was too old and too tall for him. I think that class clown took it well, and I said that he's a little young to go around proposing to girls. hehe. Teaching kids is hard work, but it's worth it in the end. After our session on Ancient Greek mythology (Gods and Goddesses of Mt. Olympus), I told them the Bible's creation story. It's interesting how all 8 of my kids have not heard of it before...so I hope to have opportunities to slip in Bible stories and share my faith with them. I doubt it's against to do that in the classroom, so I'll play 'dumb' until told otherwise. heheh.

Triple d'oh! It was just thunderstorming up here in Markham, and as I tried to blog today's entry, a power outage shut-down my computer.....THREE times! My first two entries were pretty long too...Hehhe........4th's the charm.
 
First day of work today....and it was pretty interesting. Got to teach the older kids....9-12 year-olds. They've been pretty bold and rebellious considering it was the first day of meeting them, they'd much rather play on the computer, test my limits, and yak non-stop rather than learning about Sir Francis Galton and Alfred Binet...lol. I wonder why? I tried to be nice but firm with them....not letting them bend the rules, and trying to be their friend. The boys are much harder to handle to girls, due to Cyn's theory of multiple-guy syndrome...as I believe applies to 12 year old boys too. hehhe. One misbehaving boy riles them all up, talking about obscene things, swearing and whatnot. I'm trying to be understanding and connect with them...hoping to build bridges instead of burning them like my co-workers who enforces rules by getting upset, threatening them and yelling at them. I'll see what happens tomorrow, as I have yet to plan for the brain structure/functions lesson. *whew* tty'all later! ; P 

Random tidbits for the day:
 
good news: Martha Stewart Living stocks rose 33%!
bad news: She's going to jail today for 5 months, and then house confinement for another 5  :(
it's funny: watching my lil sis trying to put on contacts for the first time
tired b/c: sore left shoulder kept me up last night
I'm elated: that I got a big check from the gov't for income tax refund! Woohoo...hehhe.
excited about: my first softball game tomorrow in over 2 weeks
food of the day: fresh lychee...mmmm!
going to: take a prayer walk.....hehe, a walk in the park :D
 
today's entry is dedicated to Cyn! Hehhe, so you can cyber-stalk me half-way 'round the world.

*sigh* Enjoying my last few days of freedom before working full-time at nerd camp! lol...j/k. It's an IQ and EQ workshop for kids who can't read good and wanna do other stuff good too. j/k. Those kids are very bright...but what they're about to get into isn't day camp, it's summer school disguised as such! Ahhh.......run for your lives children! heehehehe...I would not have been a happy camper if this is how I spent my summer days as a child. Though the things I'll be teaching is very useful, and will aid their personal growth, I highly doubt many of them are truly interested at their young ages of 5-12. I've had the chance to meet some of those kids, and they can be pretty bratty and mischevious...but who can blame them? They're at nerd camp. hehhe...maybe I should stop calling it that, cuz it might slip out while I'm at work. heheehe.

My favourite part of ministry time or outreach was doing our drama on the streets, interaction with the kids, and one on one time with the homeless people we reached out to. There's so many stories to tell, and just from listening...I've learned a lot from them. The power of touch is really crucial, and when we go out to do outreach, shaking one's hand, laying hands on them as we pray, or even giving a homeless man a hug, can mean so much to them. After every night of street ministry, we're sticky, sweaty, and smelly. But it's okay, b/c the Lord may have used us to touch their hearts. I've been able to step out of my comfort zone (my 3 ft bubble), and see them as Jesus would. All in all, this trip was so much more than what I had expected...short-term missions is really a life-changing experience!

I attended Belmont church in Nashville on July 4...the church where Amy Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael W. Smith, and Newsboys came from. A wonderful sermon was given by their previous senior pastor Don Finto. He speaks of 'foundational issues' in the church, but there's much more, including spiritual gifts, baptism, Jesus' lordship over our lives. It's a little under 60 minutes, so listen in when you have time! click here

It was a great time of worship down at Provision Intl. We experienced what they called 'prophetic worship', led by the Holy Spirit. It's not structured with a set of songs, but the worship team would lead us all into known songs, and help us get to the same level before attempting the unknown, singing and writing their own music, similar to singing Scripture. It was very liberating, as ppl would dance, sing, and worship the Lord in their own way...it's really freedom worship!

We started each weekday morning with this type of worship, with a sharing, or message. We experienced prophescies, as the pastors and staff displayed these spiritual gifts to build us up. I was a little bit skeptical at first, but the Holy Spirit confirmed it in my heart, that these are biblical truths, and those personal prophescies are very accurate. Before Campus Challenge, I've never really given much thought in spiritual gifts, believing only that we should work with what we've been given. But through many different occurances and sharings, I've come to learn to desire and earnestly seek the gifts the Holy Spirit will freely give. Many on our team experienced prophesy, visions, and interpretation. It was such an edifying and unifying experience. But now that we're all back home, things change...the context, our daily focus, and our sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I totally agree with what Janice wrote on Jul 11th, and we need even more wisdom and discernment than ever! It's hard to explain and have ppl understand these things, b/c even my parents questioned my own visions. They do believe in these things, but when it happens in real life, it's hard to discern, when we've been believing that all these 'miraculous' signs occured only in the early church.

1 Cor:14:1-4
Principles Concerning Spiritual Gifts
1 Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy. 2For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries. 3But he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men. 4He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church.


On another note, it's been so much fun working with the young children of the projects. They're very street smart, and experienced. It was just great to be around them, and letting them play and be normal children. They're very affectionate and playful; as I was picking up garbage in the park, a 6 yr old boy just jumped on to my back and said "whatcha y'all doin' ere?" After that, all the kids wanted piggy-back rides...lol. :P I actually got to build real friendships with some of those kids, as we had chances to see them pretty regularly. I pray that the Lord will capture their hearts especially at this young age, and steer them to the right direction.

to be con't...

Our STM team has arrived back safe and sound from Nashville. The Lord is so good and faithful! I don't know where to begin to describe all that's happened and how the Holy Spirit has been working there and in my heart, but I'll try. ;)

Firstly, I feel like the Lord has taken me to the mountain top and shown me His glory and splendor, and blessings that He has freely given all of us. He's opened my eyes! I'll go on to desribe some of those experiences later on.

Thinking back, there were quite a few things that would have irritated and distracted me on this trip. For example, my sleeping bad was lost in baggage claim in Nashville, but it was the least important belonging, and so I could afford to lose anyways. Plus, how else could I have had the pleasure in letting God provide for me, even something as small and simple as this? Thanks to Janice and Sharon for sharing with me! It was awesome rooming with you girls...hehhehe, 3 girls sleeping on 1 mattress using 2 sleeping bags....hahhahha. I'm usually not a fan of rodents and insects...but there was a good supply of them at the warehouse we housed in. There's cockroaches, junebugs (that love to fly into my face time and time again!), millipede thingies, spiders, rats and mice (which I've only caught a glimpse of, but we've seen their droppings and the food they've raided into). We didn't have hot water to shower in, and the boys got locked in the first day b/c their doorknob fell off (lol!) and tho the warehouse was big, one can tell it wasn't the most comfortable shelter. Surprisingly, I welcomed all these 'changes' in lifestyle, and had a joyous stay there. Attitude is a little something that makes a huge difference...and I'm thankful that I can look past these inconveniences and not forget why I was there in the first place.

The pastors at Provision Intl are amazing. Such humble men that have laid down their crowns in life to serve the Lord by ministering to one of the hardest places possible, inner-city projects. A lost black community that most ppl would avoid b/c of its violence, crimes, drug activity and poverty. There are only 23 fathers present in the 500 families living there. The brokenness is so evident. A man tried to show off his handgun to me one afternoon as we made house-visits. A very scary and shady neighbourhood, but this team would go there daily, showing acts of kindness and love, praying for them, and preaching the Word to them. Pastor Andy said that somedays it feels as tho they're "fighting for a lost cause", and it can be disappointing. But at the end of the day, after they've emptied themselves for these 'lost sheep', the Lord is faithful to restore them physically, and renew them spiritually.

con't tomorrow... :D